I was Christened (and Confirmed and had a First Holy Communion). It was the same for my husband. We were both brought up in families that would identify at Catholic. I say “identify,” because my lot certainly didn’t behave like Catholics.
Sunday service was the pub quiz and the only time I was dragged off to Confession was near Christmas time. But they would consider themselves Catholics. And they pray before bed each night.
I went to a Catholic primary school (and a non faith secondary). My husband went to Catholic Primary and Secondary.
It did us no harm. We both turned out ok (apart from the swearing and addiction to really crap telly).
Raising a Child Atheist
But I’m an Atheist. I’m not saying all believers are wrong… I just like the whole science and evolution thing and I don’t believe in God.
And this is the problem… I’ll be more than happy to tell my little boy that Santa is real, that the Easter bunny pops by each year to drop chocolate off and that the tooth fairy drops off a quid every time you lose a tooth. But I don’t think I’m ok with telling my child that there is definitely a God.
I’ll be more than happy to tell my little boy that Santa is real. But I don’t think I’m ok with telling my child that there is definitely a God.
I want him to make his own choices. But while he’s too young to do that, I am in a bit of a pickle.
If he asks me one day what happens when people die, I have two choices. I can tell him one of two things:
- You go to Heaven where you are eternally happy.
- You get burnt down into nothingness. Just a big black nothingness
Clearly, I’ll be telling him some version of the former.
And it makes me such a hypocrite.
I want to pick and choose the bits of religion that suit me to share with my child in the early days. The idea of Heaven is wonderful. It’s as wonderful (or more than) the idea of a jolly man in a red suit coming around once a year and dropping off all the things you like at no charge. And I don’t my little boy to believe harsh truths about life at a young age.
I say it again. I know it makes me a hypocrite.
But when he’s old enough, Ill tell him what I believe and hope that I have done a good enough job as his Mother that he feels able to go off and make his own decision. If he chooses Faith, good for him. I’m happy whatever he chooses. I just want it to be his choice.
Christening for School Places?
My husband and I both said, before our son was born, that we would not be having him Christened. It was an immediately agreed upon mutual thing that didn’t require further discussion.
But now, despite the fact he’s still only 4 months, we are thinking about schools. Where we live there are a number of bad schools. And most of the good ones tend to be Faith schools.
As far as my beliefs go, they all stop when it comes to his education. I’m happy for him to go to a Faith school if he’ll get a better education (there’s my inner hypocrite again).
For some of these decent schools, the admission policies basically give Christened children a much higher chance of a place. So now we are contemplating a Christening for all the wrong reasons. It would mean standing in Church and lying about my intention to raise him as a God fearing child.
But am I prepared to do that to ensure he gets a good education?!
You know what… yes, I am.
